Just Look at Me Now

by Lena Samson

Image credit: VENUS MAJOR on Unsplash

Look at me now

A lifetime of doubt

            I had to overcome

A lifetime of mountains to climb

            Holes to suck me into

            Insults, traps and walls.

Look at me now

You tried to take everything

            But I didn’t let you

I gave you my love

            My trust

And it was nothing to you

            Just a means to an end

            Take what you can’t earn.

But I stood up

            After you beat me down

And built a life for ME

            Beautiful, loving children

            And blessed, amazing grandchildren

A home that I created

            All by myself

Where I feel safe and happy

A new calling, built on my passion

            My interest, my talent

I did it all by myself.

I am proud of me

            I am not finished

I will inspire other women

            And write of my parents’ sacrifice

            And my gratitude

            To close the circle.

I am happy alone

I am finding myself

            And I like me.

I have made many mistakes

            With more yet to come

I revel in my humanity

            And thank those who helped me on my journey.

I have worked on me

            To repair the damage

            To sew up the scars

            To grow new tissue

To sprout flowers from mud

            And trees from dirt.

Image credit: Nick Owuor (astro.nic.portraits) on Unsplash

And here I stand

            Imperfectly proud

            Imperfectly happy

I overcame so much

            To be right here,

            Right now.

I celebrate me

            Proud mother, grandmother

            Editor and writer

            Proud retiree

With kindness and love

I am not broken

I have risen anew

            Just look at me now.

***

Lena Samson

Lena Samson is a writer and editor living outside of Ottawa, Canada. She writes to deal with past traumas and to connect with others through shared heartfelt expression. Lena is an active board member of Ottawa Independent Writers and Editor in Chief of their annual anthology. Her stories have appeared in the 2023 anthology, Connections, and the 2024 anthology, This Land.