In Your Image

by Philipa Murray

Image credit: Micheile Henderson on Unsplash

When you created me,

Did you do it blind?

I'm supposed to be in your image

How can I be abhorrent to your eyes?

It is not my fault

That I cannot forget her kiss

You gifted me this memory

And her such perfect lips

I used to pray each night

For you to fix what's in my head

But of course, you knew that

And you abandoned me instead

You don't get to sit there

Up on your lofty throne

And judge me for my urges

As if my love is wrong

So I take back every sorry,

Every apology that I gave

You made me hate myself

For things I cannot change

I want back all the time I spent

Wishing for my death

I want back my childhood,

I'll trade my inner strength

I shall want her

As the women that I am

If you wanted it to be different

You should have built me as a man

This is entirely your fault

So you can live with it

I no longer hate my queerness,

Not even a little bit

***

Philipa Murray

Philipa Murray is a 24 years old from New Zealand. She is the mother of a wonderful little girl. Philipa has a diploma in creative writing and has been published in an anthology entitled Rise Up Rabid Souls, edited by Debra May Silver.