Existing with My Eyes Closed

by Jasiah Ponti

Image credit: Zanyar Ibrahim on Unsplash

What does it take to believe in existence?

Is it the parties you go to? Is it the fun late nights you’re out with your friends?

Or are you isolated inside like me?

Late nights, breakdowns, and tear-stained eyes are what I’m used to.

That leaves my days alone, and cold, and my nights lonelier and colder.

Is this what my life’s become? Is this just a symptom of the mental flu?

I try running from my thoughts as one by one they come back to attack.

I’m scared to see another day with my 21 years of being alive.

I don’t want to die so I lay here existing with my eyes closed to have some remains of control.

***

Jasiah Ponti

I am a 21-year-old writer, photographer and musician. I was adopted at age 11 by my 4th-grade teacher. I’ve dealt with my own mental health issues that hinder me from time to time. Till this day my childhood trauma is today's writing inspiration. I write so you know don’t cry alone.